i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
