All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
