Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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