you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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