just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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