i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
then he tried to convert me to islam
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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