Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize