at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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