so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
