well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
