Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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