Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
