I want to stick my p in your. b.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
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Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
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I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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