dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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