I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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