Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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