This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
