Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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