Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
