this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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