"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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