I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
