you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
