just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
