i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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