Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize