She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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