Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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