I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
