I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
