you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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