Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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