one might say we're banned from that church
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
