just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
