I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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