But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
