its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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