why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Threesome in a minivan. New low
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize