Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
