i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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