He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
