Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
