I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
