How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize