your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
