would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
