She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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