You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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