Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
