I accidentally burped into my bong.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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