If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
