Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
