you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
