im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Its about making memories worth repressing
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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