would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
