She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
