Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
