It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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