i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
