Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
