Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
These tits shall not be calmed
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
