Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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