real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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