i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
