my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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