I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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