I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize