Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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